[open]

[notgoingtorun]

If Neal was being truly honest with himself, he knew full well that this moment was inevitable. He knew he was going to be exposed one way or another. At least this way, Peter had let him keep at least some of his dignity by allowing him to tell the truth on his own, rather than have the message delivered for him as though he were completely incapable of telling the truth. Oh, it would still be humiliating to round up so many people and tell them the truth, reliving a difficult conversation over and over again, but perhaps that was the message that Peter was trying to get through Neal's head: taking the easy way out was never the best solution. Neal had taken the easy way out, and he was paying the price for it now.

Neal had put this off for as long as he could, but he knew it had to be done. Aside from facing Peter's wrath, the guilt would gnaw at him until he did. Guilt was a new feeling, one that had never touched him when he was stealing priceless artifacts or defrauding billionaires, but now that he'd made friends and started a life that was built on lies, he was starting to know what regret really felt like.

This wasn't the first time that he'd had to do this dance -- once, not so long ago, he'd had to sit down with Kate and tell her that Nick Halden was a fabrication, and that hurt -- but that didn't mean he wasn't nervous about it. He'd dressed in his best clothes today -- suit, waistcoat, tie, hat -- because if he was going to go back to being Neal Caffrey, then he was going to own it.

As Neal began to track down his friends, people he cared about, people who trusted him, he realized that this was going to be a very long day.

"Hey there," he said, plastering on a cheerful smile as he approached, "do you have a couple of minutes? There's something I need to talk to you about."

Comments

[notgoingtorun]

"I did," Neal confirmed, slowly nodding his head. Normal people would break eye contact, look away, ashamed at what they'd done, but not Neal. He was never that kind of guy, and he also thought that he deserved this.

When he wasn't busy stealing and lying, he was busy disappointing people. It was pretty standard.

"I did, and ... you'll never know how sorry I am. You have been nothing but kind and generous to me, and I've deceived you, and for that I really, sincerely do apologize."

[bennet_beauty]

It would behoove her to do something drastic and perhaps evict him from her home. She imagined this was the correct act to take, but she did not know that she could do so. "I don't know that you should remain with us," she said, unable to meet his gaze, but making the words out -- barely, though. "The children, you see. I don't wish to have to explain this to them if you were to stay."

[notgoingtorun]

He did look down then, staring at non-existent lint on his suit coat. "Alright," he said, glancing up at her quickly. The old Neal probably would have tried to charm her, talk her into letting him stay, forgiving him for his transgressions. But now... he was just so tired. He was tired of running, tired of lying, exhausted from explaining everything to a version of Peter who didn't remember half of the things that Neal did.

"I... understand, I really do. I'll pack my stuff and get out of your hair." He should have just shut up and left, but he couldn't. "I'm not -- I never meant to hurt you, I hope you'll understand that some day. I'm not a danger to you or your family, I just ... make the wrong choices sometimes."

What was it that people always told him? Neal did the wrong things for the right reasons. Again. Always.

[bennet_beauty]

"I do not like lying," Jane admitted, her voice remaining strong as she said the words and inclined her gaze to him. She hoped that he understood, for it was the truth and what she believed. "I would like it if you still visited, perhaps under your true name and your true identity, but I do not think you should stay with us. At least, for now."

[notgoingtorun]

"I understand, and I respect that," he said, hoping that he came across as sincere. For someone who had just outed himself as a habitual liar, he knew that getting anyone to believe him ever again was a gamble. From his own past -- with Kate, with Sara, even with Peter -- Neal knew that it took time for people to process and decide whether or not to let Neal back in, and he'd give Jane all the time she needed.

Neal edged back towards the door, intending to go back to his room and pack, a temporary reprieve before he continued to make his truth-telling rounds. "I'll be out today, I promise. But -- look, if you ever want to hear the whole story, and you don't want to hear it from me -- there's a man who just arrived here on the island from my home, his name's Peter Burke. He's been a good friend to me and he's the most honest man I know."

[bennet_beauty]

She nodded as she took this information hold, parsing through it as she debated what she would do. Perhaps, at some point, she would invite him back to meet with the children again under his proper name rather than an alias, but she was unsure whether she was ready for that. "Take as much time as you need, sir," she said, her voice soft. While she wished to protect herself and her family, she did not wish to be cruel.

"And thank you for being honest. Even if it was delayed."

[notgoingtorun]

He nodded, one hand wrapped around the edge of the doorframe as he prepared to take his leave. "You're welcome. I wish it hadn't taken me so much time to... to shape up."

Never apologize, that was supposed to be one of the first rules of being a con, and yet here he was, apologizing to everyone he'd ever met. He was disappointed, mostly in himself, for a lot of reasons.

He'd bounce back, but right then, he was wondering if he'd ever stop disappointing people who had dared to trust him.